With every attachment comes suffering...
If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we want to feel happy; and on the other side, we want to avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain.
We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them. Then we grief when something changes—a lay off, a breakup, or a transfer.
We attach to feelings as if they define us, not just positive ones. If you’ve wallowed in regret or disappointment for years, it can seem safe and even comforting to suffer. It feels somewhat like a security.
In trying to hold on to what’s familiar, we limit our ability to experience joy in the present. A moment can’t possibly radiate fully when you’re suffocating it in fear.
When you stop trying to grasp, own, and control the world around you, you give it the freedom to fulfill you without the power to destroy you. That’s why letting go is so important— letting go is letting happiness in and will end the suffering.
It’s no simple undertaking to let go of attachment—not a one-time decision, like pulling off a band-aid. Instead, it’s a day-to-day, moment-to-moment commitment that involves changing the way you experience and interact with everything you instinctively want to grasp.
That is the bloody truth...
If you have any attachments at all (and we all do), some are emotional, and some physical, you will invite suffering. Yes, suffering will not be optional.
What is an attachment? The best way I can explain an attachment is; with every person or connection you make, you have a cord that will attach. Normally at the Heart Chakra. So the cord will run, from your Heart Chakra, to the person's Heart Charka or to a situation. Some cords are fat and short, some are thin and long. Depending on the importance of the relationship of the person or situation. Of course, if you have kids your cord will be fat and thick and intense. Where if you connect with your neighbor it might be long and thin and not as intense.
We all have them. Maybe different levels of attachment but we all, every single one of us, have them. You might have an attachment to your house. Maybe to your partner. Or your Yoga mat .
How can you end your suffering?
First, acknowledge the attachment. Non judgingly. It is what it is. It doesn't make you a bad person. Accept the moment for what it is.
Call yourself out. When you realize you put an attachment to something or someone, be aware and then redirect your energy into something else.
Friend yourself.It will be harder to let people go when necessary if you depend on them for your sense of worth. Believe you’re worthy whether someone else tells you or not. This way, you relate to people, not just how they make you feel about yourself.
Justify less. I can’t let him go—I’ll be miserable without him. I’d die if I lost her—she’s all that I have. These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not a fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you’re strong enough to carry on if and when things change. And welcome in any change. Change is good. It is necessary to grow.
Release the need to know!
Practice letting things be!
Write your feelings down!
What are your attachments?
And how will you change them around?
PEACE,
~Silvia
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